Female Bathing Habits:-

1.) Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.

2.) Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.

3.) Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly, complain about getting fat.

4.) Get in shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

5.) Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamprey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamprey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

6.) Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.

7.) Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's all come off.

8.) Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving private area but decide to get it waxed instead.

9.) Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.

10.) Turn off shower.

11.) Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

12.) Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend hour and a half getting dressed.

Bath Like a Man Guys:-

1.) Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.

2.) Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her while shouting "Way Hey!!"

3.) Look in mirror and suck in gut to see your manly physique.

4.) Get in shower.

5.) Don't bother to look for wash cloth, don't need one.

6.) Wash face, armpits, bullocks and the surrounding area in just 15 seconds.

7.) Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower.

8.) Wash ares, leaving hair on soap.

9.) Piss in shower.

10.) Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole shower time.

11.) Leave bathroom light and fan on.

12.) Put on yesterday's clothes.