This is really the greatest, funniest and most amazing joke. You must read this laugh riot to make yourself feel fresh.
A man was doing push ups on d beach.
Drunk Santa sees him n starts laughing loudly n says: Sorry to tell you but d women below you has already left...

He held her close against him, a warm glow of satisfaction covering them both. “Am I the first man you ever made love to?” he asked. She studied him reflectively. “you might be. Your face looks very familiar!”

Sunny goes to his doctor. The doctor says, “sit down, I have good news and bad news for you and I’ll tell you the good news first.” Sunny says, “What’s that?” Doctor says, “Well I examined all your data and found you had only twenty-four hours to live.” Sunny: “That’s the Good news? What’s the bad news?” The doctor says, “Well, I should have called you yesterday!”